Or should I say CUNT-tucky Derby, amiright? That shit sucked. I basically spent a week pre-gaming with people in starched clothes and ironic/unironic bowties, only to find out that the whole race lasts 2 minutes. Two. Minutes. Ridiculous. I hope that everyone who went to the Gold Cup got more of a show, because I really think that, at least from what I've seen, horse racing is the stupidest pseudo-sport in the world. Kentucky's cool, though, and I'd like to see more of the South.
Everything else has been kind of the same ol', same ol'. Here's a typical day in the life:
12 PM wake up, eat, play basketball or lift 5 PM shower, dinner 6 PM smoke, start playing video games and watching basketball or else out to the bars or some kind of event 11 PM wasteface 1 AM crash
Everything's just so...monotonous. Maybe unfulfilling? I've just been kind of bored and maladroit lately, basically either blowing off or arguing with everyone I know. Getting a job would almost instantly solve this, but there just doesn't seem to be anything good out there (I've barely even been looked lately), and I don't even know that it would help. Like, last summer when I was working, I was a lot happier, but I was doing a lot of extremely irresponsible things that would probably hurt me a lot in the long run. At the same time, my main alternative, the Marines, would prevent me from having the kind of undisciplined urban lifestyle I've always coveted for at least the next half a decade, plus there's always the chance that I'd hate the culture. Then again, a definite paycheck, a place of my own, and a purpose in life wouldn't hurt. I guess I've always kind of needed some kind of dream or big hope to latch onto, and now that there aren't any things that I want or people I want to care about me, I'm kind of at a loss. I mean, whodathunk that there'd actually be something good about unrequited love? Also, this makes me regret messing stuff up with Britney even more, since I didn't really care about anything else when I was with her, and I've yet to find anyone else who could make me as happy in the same way that she did. I think that my experiences with her somehow relate to The Beast In The Jungle, but I'm drawing a blank on exactly how. Whatever, though, The East Coast Mack always comes out on top. Pruitt Rex.
I've got an interview Tuesday with some law firm, so hopefully that'll go well. I should be hearing back from Human Rights Watch in the next week, too, even though I'm not sure that I'd want to work in the non-profit sector, and any job experience would be kind of pointless if I go all semper fi. By the way, I'm actually kind of worried about the Marines. Sgt Derris told me that I wouldn't be able to leave for recruit training until October since apparently everyone and their mother shares my dream of genocide. Actually, this could be a good thing, since I'm going to have to lose weight anyways. The Marines want someone of my height to be 215 pounds or 18 percent body fat when they start recruit training, and, as of the Monday before last, I'm 5'11, 20% body fat, and 255 pounds (ah, the 'benefits' of lifting for mass and chugging whey protein like it's water for two years, as well as the genetics of my father's family, which must have been made up entirely of midgets and slaves). I'm not worried about losing the ten pounds or whatever since I should be able to get rid of it in two weeks through a combination of basketball and dieting, but I think that I'll actually need to lose more just to make it through the day-to-day Marine lifestyle. Like, I've got a bad back as it is, plus my knees start to hurt if I run more than two miles (Marines do three a day), and dropping fifteen or twenty pounds would probably help. I know I could do it, but it's hard to stick to a diet for a long time, the only aerobic exercise I enjoy is basketball, and I don't want to stop lifting and risk losing the muscle I've spent the last two years inflating.
Anyways...I'm off to bed. Hopefully I'll finally get the military stuff straightened out and commit one way or the other this week. I should be seeing Wolverine and maybe Star Trek with Mark, Elver, Juan, etc., too, so that's something to look forward to. Oh, and everyone needs to see Crank: High Voltage. Best movie since The Dark Knight.
UPDATE According to spellcheck, when I typed "whodathunk", I most likely meant "Vietcong" UPDATE
I'm going to be away from the computer for a while, at least the next week due to spring break shit (hopefully in New York) and a a weekend-long houseparty, and I haven't updated this in a while even though I read everyone else's updates religiously, so here are random nuggets from my life.
Only two more months until X-Men: Origins Wolverine. I'm beyond elated to see Deadpool, my favorite comic book character since I was about thirteen years old, getting positioned to be a breakout star, and every second I've seen of him in the trailer has given me a thousand orgasms. My only gripe so far is that he doesn't seem to be using guns, but I guess they can take care of that in the spin-off movies.
The job situation has been...eh. Still nothing, but it bothers me a lot less now. I've still got a decent amount of money, and I've kind of started to like not having any responsibilities, but I'd like to have my own place to stay in DC. Not that I don't appreciate the rides, futons, air mattresses, and spare rooms I've been given, but my own place to stay would give me a lot more freedom. As it is now, I can't really go into the city on my own, at least not without being kind of obligated to do shit with whoever brought me, and that can be kind of annoying. I've got kind of a love/hate relationship with the bar scene, and no one really likes doing the festivals, random cultural events (I hate that term because it makes me sound pretentious; "oh, the bars aren't good enough for me, I need to go to some thing with dudes playing drums or a forum on Eastern Europe or some happy hour at the Corcoran gallery because I'm just so civilized and mature" but a better word escapes me. I still enjoy putting on my wasteface. Really.), and museums I like.
The chick situation has been...eh. The Jessie Incident kind of rocked me out of my complacency, so I've been going out a lot more and trying to meet new girls since the start of the year, with some success, I guess. Other than a certain Italian who's heading back in three months anyways, no one truly memorable, although at least I've been able to string together enough one night stands and flings to give me a bit of a perma-grin, despite the vacuousness of what passes for my life. Two things I've learned in the last few months: how you look doesn't really matter as long as you're charming, outgoing, and smoke weed, and as long as you seem like a reasonably well put together white man in a blazer, girls will at the very least give you a chance. I'm still wearing the shit out of the ascot and have no plans to stop, but I think that it's at best a wash as far as helping me mack at bitches. Oh, one last thing on the subject of girls - Britney's still going into my facebook account and reading my messages and I presume looking at my stuff, even though she deleted her own profile after our last spat. I know this should bother me, but it really doesn't. I can't see how it could have any kind of ill effect on me, and what's the worst that could happen? That I get weekly updates on Ben Linus? That I checked "not attending" for some 60's party?HEAVENS TO MURGATROID I'M SOOOOOOOO CONFUSED! WHATEVER SHALL I DO!!!?
I watched The Darjeeling Limited Wednesday afternoon, and it was everything I thought it would be - stylish, unfocused, overly-quirky, and more memorable than it should have been. The soundtrack is great, though, especially the Kinks songs, Where Do You Go To (My Lovely), and the typewriter song. I also finally saw I'm Not There a few weeks ago, and I really loved it. Yeah, it was definitely pretentious and a little bit abstract, but isn't that what makes Todd Haynes movies good? Besides, one more formulaic biopic a la Walk The Line, Notorious, or Ray and I'm just going to stop listening to music. Also, I guess because of a combination of context and song selection, it's gotten me to kind of like Dylan. A little bit. Maybe. One More Cup Of Coffee is a great song. And the song I'm Not There is the cat's pajamas.
I normally hate college basketball on account of the lack of anything resembling a mid-range game and the player's inability to score off of anything other than threes and putbacks, but I'm sort of liking the tournament this year. Michigan, Maryland, and USC are all in it and doing ok, so that's exciting. I'm still fairly convinced that Memphis or maybe Louisville will win it and that UNC will get beaten by Oklahoma. UNC's a great team, don't get me wrong, but Hansborough can't handle physical and athletic players, and Griffin's about as physical and athletic as they come, so the only way UNC will pull it off is if Lawson can put the team on his back or if Griffin gets into foul trouble. UConn is my pick for the first top team to fall, since they just seem to reek of incompetence sometimes.
The NBA playoffs should be good, too, at least in the East. Wade vs Lebron in the second round will be interesting, and I'll enjoy watching the Magic, since they seem to be the only team that can beat all of the elite teams on a regular basis, even though they're a notch below them in terms of talent. I can't see how anyone could beat the Lakers in the West, with the possible exception of the Rockets. I'd be willing to bet money that the finals will be the Lakers vs the Cavs, with the Lakers winning it in six.
Ah, time to meet up with Ersilia and spend the weekend trying to reach the moon. tee tee why el semicolon capital pee and shit.
Wow, it's been a while since I updated. I basically spent the last few months playing basketball, working for a little while, doing the Obama thing, hosting Juan for a month, eating pizza, hanging out with Billy, running trains, smoking a shitload of weed, and barely drinking. Yep, I've almost completely weened myself off of alcohol, something I'm semi-proud of.
The job situation is looking a lot better now than it did a month ago. Whereas I was seriously getting afraid that I'd be a poorly-compensated non-profit or temp employee (the only difference in the work being that temps can work under 50 hours a week with regularity), it's looking more and more likely that I'll actually be able to get a real (ie normal, not entry-level) job within the next few weeks. In addition to interviewing for a contract position that would have me set up as a proofreader with a financial company through April, I've been in for follow-up interviews with a company that lobbies for utility companies (where I'd be a legal researcher) and with The Chronicle of Philanthropy, where I'd be an account coordinator for the advertising department (basically booking and proofing ads that non-profits want to place in the magazine). Also, I just interviewed with The Onion A.V. Club today for a part-time assistant editor position. It would probably pay jack shit, but still, The Onion!
Random things I'm happy about -- Barack, the fuckability of Margaret Brennan, (possible) Senator Franken, Great Western sandwiches from Safeway, Everyday Shooter (and Jessie's complete and utter inability to understand what makes it cool), the new Free Darko and Sarah Vowell books, Spring Snow by Mishima, Nick "Bean Burrito" Young, Billy's uncanny ability to find good parties, The Wire, 30 Rock, The Fall, Fallout 3, It's Always Sunny, Laughter In The Dark (read in two days!)
Random things I'm not happy about -- the shittiness of the Wizards, Jessie's mood swings, *******'s complete and utter indifference to me (I mean, come on. This was my best friend for years, she hasn't seen me in over a year, spends 45 minutes talking to one of my best friends who even told her I was at the same party, and yet she doesn't even ask about me, much less say hello or do anything other than intentionally turn her head when I wave to her or walk near? That's just...wow. I've honestly never felt so hurt. And even if I'd actually had an opportunity to talk to her, what could I even say? It's like that line in My Blueberry Nights, "How do you say goodbye to someone you can't imagine living without?". Except that I never even really got to say bye or anything since she just kind of stopped talking to me out of nowhere, no warning or finality or anything. Mark asked me that night why I still get so worked up about someone so unexceptional and whose callousness has hurt me again and again over the years, especially when I've dated far better people who've been far nicer to me, and I still can't think of a reason. I actually went back through our Facebook message history the other week when I was looking for my old address and I was shocked at just how rude she was to me on a regular basis. I've basically been a battered spouse for the last five years. Friday was still just too much to handle, though, and basically left me depressed as fuck all for the entire weekend.), the tendency of my dogs to shit in the house, condoms, Alaska
Anyways, the next few weeks will be spent bouncing back and forth between my house and Jessie's, and I'll hopefully get to go see Britney and/or go to L.A. with Billy for a few days before I start working. Also, this time I'm going to do the apartment thing the right way and get one no more than six weeks after I start working, so my first few checks will probably be going to housewarming party shit.
That's all for now. I'll be updating again sometime in mid-2009.
Job Front --Basically I love my job. Sure, I work about 60+ hours per week and am occasionally relegated to just proofing random crap, but I get to work toward a cause I believe in and I get to be witness to sweet sweet power. Also, since I quit doing drugs and barely drink, my pay (about a thousand dollars per check) goes a lot further than a comparable sum would have even a few months ago. However, there can be times when work can suck. Like today, for example. I came in at 8:45 and no sooner had I gotten myself a coke zero and a bag of cherry craisins did I find out that, oh, even though no one I could really call my boss was currently in DC today, our most important client (a soon-to-be senator from one of the most powerful political dynasties in American history) and his campaign staff was waiting in the conference room to go over messaging for an upcoming debate. This caused a general panic throughout the office, but I managed to stay together and take detailed, legible notes for once, so hopefully there won't be any negative consequences. Even if there are, they won't affect me; no one got the memo about us having a meeting today, so my ass is covered. Really, I'm just glad I wore shoes today.
Housing Front --Greg Wills is a powerful man to know. His friend Smitty is willing to rent Mark and I a place in SE that'll be cheap and away from crime, and the move-in date would be mid-August, just in time for me to have accumulated two or three checks. I'm beyond excited to move; being at home isn't horrible, but the commute is both expensive and time-consuming. As it is I spend ten to twelve hours a day at work, spending another two commuting back and forth really leaves me with no time during the week. Which sort of brings me to the next front...
Pussy Front --I don't have time for sex any more. It typically takes about two hours between the deed, the prologue, the epilogue, and the act of setting up whatever booty call I'm trying to work out. This is both good and bad. I've regressed back to banging Jessie because 1) physical attraction and 2) convenience, since she's willing to drive from Virginia to DC or MD a few times a week. However, she embodies everything I dislike about women, which is not good. I've also been messing with this girl I met through Billy, Nikki, who's actually pretty down to earth, but I don't think it's legal or something to enter into any kind of relationship with someone you've run a train on. She only lives fifteen minutes from my house, though, which is a definite plus. Still, neither of these girls are really that good for me, so the celibacy my job is pretty much forcing on me is an overall positive development in my life.
Comraderie Front --John and Travis are in California, Britney's in France, and Sarah's in some borderline third world country, so I've been left to be reliant on Mark, Elver, Angela, et al for friendship. This is probably a good thing since there's less insanity around them, although I do sort of miss the old clique.
Graduation is completed. I am a better person. I am a better person because I am employable. I am not employable.
Guh.
The thing they don't tell you about an economics degree is that, while it sounds oh so practical, it really does not teach you a skill. Sure, I can do analysis and regression and cost-benefit caca, but you need a masters for them to take you seriously. I'll be getting one of them some day, hopefully as a skipping stone to a doctorate, but the financial realities of my life require that I do grad school at night. Now, as far as paying for it goes...Wow. I think I'm caught in a catch 22. Here are some employment/life options for the foreseeable future.
1. Head to California w/ the troubled friend, turn into Julian from Less Than Zero, probably resort to porn or drug dealing in order to pay for food and/or crack Pros: I'll look incredibly cool as I kill myself, I'll probably get laid regularly, I'll probably lose weight. Cons: Death, humiliation, mental scarring.
2. Live at home for a little while, work at Costco, continue applying for jobs as an analyst or research assistant or something like that. You know, the ones with futures. Pros: I can live cheap and save a ton of money up, I won't be able to drink or smoke much due to somewhat puritanical views of my otherwise liberal parents on ATF issues. Cons: I haven't hung out with anyone who lives in Anne Arundel County in a good two years, meaning I could grow a beard and go crazy.
3. Attempt to work as a plumber's assistant for G-Wills, who might need help because of a bad back. Pros: I'd get to see Mark's family constantly, I'd make money, I'd have someone to talk about the Wizards and Redskins with, I'd be near the metro. Cons: I only thought of this today, getting fired for incompetence by people I know, like, and respect might be a bit awkward, I might spend the summer after graduation living in a basement that doesn't belong to my parents.
4. Teach English in Chile or Hong Kong. Pros: It would be cool, I don't mind being broke, it would delay my having to get a job, my yellow fever, the relative ease with which I can get South American pussy. Cons: No money, I don't speak a second language, it would only delay the inevitable, no ps3.
5. The political fundraising job I'm interviewing for. Pros: politics related, I'm good at making people give me money, I'd be respectable, I'd meet the kind of intelligent, attractive, liberal, cultured girls Frostburg is sorely lacking. Cons: I'd have to ask people for money, I'd be paid a base salary, but anything extra would come from performance-based bonuses.
6. One of the handful of temp agencies I have interviews at. Pro: I'll make 15-ish an hour, maybe get hired on for a real job, probably not have to think too much, I'd meet other youngish people. Cons: it's realistic to assume my work will be mindless and lucrative enough for me to drink during the week, I might be soul-crushingly bored.
Speaking of drinking, I'm done with it. Basically. I'm not giving up liquor completely, but I'm going to stick to two beers at most and maybe the occasional martini from now on. I just don't like what it does to my stomach and mushels. Plus, it's expensive, and it hurts my macking powers.
GOD DAMN I AM GLAD TO BE OUT OF FROSTBURG!!!
Well, with the exception of Jerilyn, the book store, and the Palace Theater, all of which I'll miss, I'm glad to be out and done. No more education majors or southerners or Ethiopians or bad food or spending three hours a day at the gym out of boredom for me, no suri bob.
OK, I'm usually very good about doing my work on time and in a quick and focused way. Unfortunately, I went to Annapolis for two days for my internship, and instead of writing my 15 page art paper (different critical methodologies applied to a single work of art; the one I chose is Tommy's Illness/Mexico City by David Wojnarowicz), I went to the gym last night and the pool at six this morning. This means I got about six hours of sleep. Yuck.
Anyways, the ol' concentration muscles aren't working too well, so I went on Facebook and Myspace to look at people I went to high school with. Wow, it's fantastic. I had a bit of an inferiority complex, low self-worth, all that great stuff back then, but now, checking up on everyone, I'm shocked at how far I've come. Like, some (although not even a plurality, when you factor in the ones I didn't know) of the girls have been far more successful than me in terms of education, and they're still pretty hot, and Joe Stevens is apparently at Cornell, so I can't touch them. But compared to most of the guys, wow, I've done great! Like, I'm basically done my four-year degree, don't have any kids, have money (not stacked so high I can't see people, but still a little bit of change for whatever I really want), look pretty good naked, have done a shitload of traveling, and will probably start working at a good job in two months. Plus, I'm pretty cultured and have banged decent looking women on a semi-regular basis the last two or three years. All these guys I used to assume would be sooo much better than me in life just seem like regular (boring) dudes now. Like, a lot have kids, most have either gotten fat or are too nerdy for me to view as a potential threat, or else they're just normal nine-to-five types who don't seem to be doing anything that cool. This makes me feel good, since I'm definitely in the 95th percentile of the men of Meade High's class of 2003, now, which is a far higher rank than I could have had back then.
Hm, this might have come out a bit hateful...It's not meant to, this is just vanity and ego, really, with a little bit of gloating. I mean, other than Joe (who is still better-looking and smarter than me) and possibly Michael War-something (who's better-looking than me, although I have no idea whether he's successful or not, simply because I'm too lazy to click on non-friends' profiles) and probably Travis, I can't think of anyone who seems to definitely without a doubt be better than me.
The "friends entries" function on livejournal seems to be kaput right now, so rather than just reading other people's stuff, I'll make another fairly pointless update.
Basically, winter break was goodish. All I really did was lift weights, smoke, fuck, get money, play video games (Mario 64 took up the majority of my time, plus I played a lot of Rock Band, Twilight Princess (the first Zelda game I'd played since the first one), and Call of Duty 4), eat Tombstone pizzas, and watch International Music Feed. I also watched the first four seasons of Oz. And read a few books, none of which really blew me away. The high/lowlight was going to France, where, rather than partying like I should have, I reconciled with Britney, which sucked, since I now can't really see her for, like, a year and a half, due to school and her summer fellowship to Sorbonne(!). It really sucks to leave on good/phenomenal terms with her, but them's the breaks, dude. I should probably get a girlfriend, since the only way I've ever really been able to forget about people is to get with new ones, but it's just hard to get excited about anyone. Like, even Jessie, a PHENOMENAL girl for me, just kind of existed as a thing; I never really listened to what she was saying, and I really just liked the way she looked, as was the case with all the other girls I've been with in the last few months.
Anyways, school is pretty horrendous. Classes are beyond easy, and I spend about six hours a week in an actual classroom due to an online biology class and my internship, so no real worries there. I have three easy A's and a biology class designed for freshmen. The only problem is the boredom. Like, Juan's here, which is great, and I like at least knowing I can go downstairs to see Earl, Mischa, or Gary whenever I want, but I don't really have much else. I guess I've just had a hard time relating to people, either due to the pseudo-maturity and cynicism I've acquired living on my own and spending too much time with ultra-impressive types in Georgetown, or I've just become autistic. I think it might be the latter; all I really want to do up here is play The Orange Box and watch basketball; the bars are just impossible for me to get worked up about, and the frat parties have never been my scene any time or anywhere.
This is a depressing entry. I'm not, like, morose or anything, just bored.
Movies I've more or less enjoyed: No Country for Old Men, My Blueberry Nights, Atonement, Dewey Cox, Hitman, Boys In The Hood, There Will Be Blood
Music I've more or less enjoyed: The Pipettes, Joe Lean And The Jing Jang Jong, The Fratellis, Los Hives, Cat Power, Lil Wayne, Feist, the new Radiohead album, Sugarplum Fairy, The View, T.I., Yelle, and the song You Make Me Feel Mighty Real by Sylvester
--The Game and Lil Wayne are the only new musicians I can really listen to any more --I went to the gym six days a week and I'm pretty sure I look exactly the same --I had a horribly dramaaaaaaaatic relationship with Britney --Realized Britney is a sociopath --Realized Britney went to the same prep and graduate schools as Patrick Bateman --Realized this is an enormous turn-on --Realized the chick is way too emotionally attached and I've become too disillusioned with a nice relationship with someone who cares about me to be able to respect a girl I've heard cry over the phone to me and threaten to fuck my friends repeatedly in the last two weeks --Decided to pursue a money-making job rather than a career in academia, in part due to The Wills Influence as well as my deeply-rooted desire to eventually make Melanie live with me as my prisoner guest --Decided to move to DC with Mark and hopefully Juan as soon as I graduate (not another day in that god-forsaken house...) --Saw my individual abs for the first time in too long --Started caring about the Redskins --Set myself up with a go-go dancer(!) --Sold crack, got jacked, got shot, came back, jumped on Dre's back
Winter will be spent hustling in some way or another, Costco or event enhancement, followed by my last semester of college, to be spent living with Juan and eating nachos every day
Goals for winter--lose all of my fat (since the muscle is going to die without a decent gym), read (it's been impossible with a roommate; I can't get in the fuckin zone), and bang twenty new bitches (four a week is...MAYBE doable if I'm working full-time and by working I mean unemployed and going out all the time to parties with teenagers)
I don't know why, but I bought a Wii last week (in addition to my PS3, which is still balls-to-the-wall fantastic; I have no clue why people criticize it so much. There aren't many games for it, but are there really that many more for the 360?). I already have Wii Sports and Mario Party 8: The One With Squall, both of which came with the system. I'm going to buy another game tonight, I think, probably Resident Evil 4 or The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, even though it doesn't look that fun and Mark said that it's shit. RE is only 25 dollars, too, which is nice. Between buying clothes, my intercuntinential touring, the New York trip, maybe another Asia trip before Britney goes up to school, the two games systems, and my impending purchase of a new television, I've blown through faaar too much money this summer. I'm only at work maybe two or three days a week, too, so it's not like I'm making a lot of cash there, either. I'm not going to have to borrow money or anything like that, but I'm probably going to be better off if I start pinching a few more pennies, which will be henceforth defined as "letting other people buy liquor for me for the rest of the summer".
This summer has been bad. I still don't have free time, and I've been neglecting everyone other than Britney. I want to be able to read more, too, but I'm just not alone or even sober often enough to do it. That said, the little bit of reading I have been doing has been great. Number9Dream and Breakfast at Tiffany's were great, From Dawn To Decadence is great, Ulysses is dull but sort of rewarding, Forever Amber was garbage. I forget what else I read. I want to read more of Lunar Park as soon as school starts. We should do a book club.
Hm, here's a question, dear readers: Is it worth it for me to buy a 37 inch flatscreen hdtv that costs 160 dollars more, or just get the 32 inch one?
Oh, and I finally cleared 300 lbs on the bench press like two days before I messed up my hand in an accident. So I can't work out for a while, and gripping things is tough. Still, I'm only 100 pounds from football player-esque strength. Soon....soon I'll be able to crush everyone who opposes me.
Off to dinner with granddad, then home to anxiously await Melanie's call (henceforth known as playing video games without turning off my cellphone).
Can I just say that Britney is the most amazing piece of ass woman in the world? She bought me Crocs. In red. That were the perfect size. That, sirs and mmes, is the way to a man's heart.
I bought Ultimate Alliance again, but this time for PS3.
And I finished Number9Dream, which, possibly because Mark told me to read it, played out in my mind as an RPG, with Eiji being played by Yuri from Shadow Hearts (complete with his signature run). And this Awesome Show, Great Job clip reminds me a lot of the basic plot of the book, minus the yakuza stuff (which I sort of disliked and at times wondered whether or not was real)
Also here's the most intense minute ever, also courtesy of Awesome Show, Great Job (which I really need to watch, preferably with Juan, Mark, Earl, et al.
Recent developments in the life of Sir Thomas of Pruitt --realized I hate working, not because of the actual job, but just because it takes time away from more important things like working out, drawing, drinking, fucking, reading comic books, etc. --realized that I'm on "the list" at Smith Point, putting me in a league with the creme de la creme of preppy white peoplez (and giving me another thing in common with the Bush twins) --realized that Britney might either hate me or view me as so abysmal at being a preppy white person that I can be considered the opposite of one (long story short: she's writing a novel/novella for one of her classes this fall about snobby white pplz, and, since I'm assuming it's based on people she knows, it has to end with the most sympathetic character (probably the one she'll base on herself) NOT getting banged by one, or else it breaks the golden rule of books written about people like, well, her and to a far lesser extent me). --realized that Hong Qi Li is trying to get me kicked out of Frostburg due to academic dishonesty, even though he said I could get off with a warning (long story short: I shared answers on two out of twelve questions on a lab report worth 3% of my final grade). I'm not scared, but even if I did think it could lead to disaster, it would be countered by the fact that I --realized that I might be happier dropping the school thing and trying to become a comic book artist, which would pay about the same as a professorship, cause incredible amounts of dra-maaaaaa with the family members I don't like and make the ones I do like very happy (these are the same people who tried to convince me that going to MICA would be a fantastic idea and even offered to pay for it) --realized that playing PS3 is more fun than playing with Livejournal
Toodles. But first, here are clips that I've watched far too much of, the first one being courtesy of Mark:
I listened to the last song seventy-three times Friday night while hanging out (drinking after doing * and wandering around the woods) with John and Travis. Good times. Absolute Beginners by The Jam may very well be the new Tighten Up.
video of dr. anderson in a bow tie talkin' 'bout the fourth estate
]
I'm listening to far too much Stone Temple Pilots right now. I feel very dated and conformist.
Other Conformist Things I've Been Doing --liking the first Strokes album a little, liking the last Strokes album a lot (although I still think the second is crap, although I'll probably change my mind next week) --deciding that Marquee Moon is one of the greatest albums of all time --breathing like a normal person --reading Breakfast At Tiffany's and liking it far more than the movie --seeing big-budget action movies based on franchises that I never liked (Die Hard) or experienced as a child (Transformers) --working out
Amount I Can Bench Press-- about 0.0009 of what the Hulk can support, according to wikipedia (even though his strength is obviously infinite and directly related to his anger levels, meaning that there is no set amount or limit that he can lift, as you would know if you were reading World War Hulk like you should be) Amount I Can Leg Press-- 45% of what Pat Robertson can Number of cock push-ups I can do-- 2 when I'm thinking of Britney, 6 when Britney is watching, 8 when looking at pictures of Shari's thumbs
Oh, and I'm getting a PS3 on Friday. I'm still not sure which games I'm going to get; I'm thinking The Darkness and Spider-man 3, then Stranglehold (which comes with Hard Boiled on blu ray) when it comes out. Also, it comes with five blu-ray movies (I'm probably going to get Gone With The Wind, Apocalypto, maybe Letters From Iwo Jima, maybe the two Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and maybe Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, even though it isn't really a visually dazzling movie. Also, I'm definitely going to buy 300 in blu-ray format in a week or two).
I got a 97% in political science. I have a 90 in calculus. I have a mid-B in biology, and might even be able to bring it up. Let us pray. Calc ends tomorrow, bio ends next Thursday.
I went to a Wes Anderson-themed party (dressed as Richie Tenenbaum; per my request, Britney was Klaus from The Life Aquatic) last night that blew my frackin' mind. Like, whoaaaa (or is it whooooooa?), a party where everyone seems to be interesting and I don't want to leave before everyone else? Why I never!
Also, I bought The Sound And The Fury, a new copy of Tropic Of Cancer (mine is like thirty years old and falling apart), Ulysses, and a copy of The Road for my stepfather at Borders yesterday. I also broke down, or maybe it's broke up, and bought an actual Criterion Collection copy of In The Mood For Love. AKA The Jesus of Cinema. Wong Kar Wai is a god, and I'd throw a WKW party if enough people liked him. Actually, that might be good; the Wes Anderson party was far smaller than the Tarantino one I went to last year, and I'm thinking that the better director weeded out the unwanteds, almost like the Nazi's did in WWII.
Wow.
That's the most tasteless thing I've ever written.
I feel sick with shame. God, what is wrong with me?
Fortunately, I can, and do, tolerate shame constantly.
Costco is great so far; those people are waaaaay (or is it wayyyyyyyy?) too good to me. Like, in addition to making four dollars an hour more than I did at FYE, they also threw a cook out for everyone (I told them that it was really in my honor and that I paid for the food, but I don't think enough people bought it). Big ups to the Cost. The only downside is that I occasionally have to interact with children when I'm boxing groceries, which is very uncomfortable. I never know what to say to them. Stephen Merchant talked about this in a Ricky Gervais Show podcast, and I can't say anything even close to as funny. The sentiment is the same, though. Fuck kids. Who needs them? Get rid of them.
Biology sucks big time. A science class full of monotonous work that doesn't interest a non-science major in the least? Why I never!
I have fifteen minutes until I have to go over to see Dr. Mizak in order to figure out what my final grade in international finance will be. If things go well and I ace the exam, I'll squeak by with a 91 or 90. If things go poorly, I'm in B-city, baby. Ugh. I was doing so well, but it looks increasingly likely that I'll wind up with a 3.6 this semester (although there is still some hope for my quantitative grade). My highest possible GPA: 4.0 My lowest possible GPA: 3.6 My most likely GPA: 3.8
Also, I'm sad as hell to see the semester end. I've had too many good times. On the other hand, I miss Britney and the things she does to my penis, so, you know, silver-lining and all that. Plus, the vacation will be nice. Unless I get kidnapped and sold into white slavery.
Key words and themes for this semester --Tony muddafuckin' Leung --In The Mood For Love --Oldboy --Brian Devito being sexier than me --El Canelo's --sleeping on floors --sleeping on an air mattress --women storming out of rooms (something I'd never seen until this year) --lifting heavy objects --Deadpool --Marvel Civil War --Rant --The Sorrows of Young Werther --The Riches --Greg "Meatball" Wills --Lost being good again --300 --quoting 300 --Extras --epic heartbreak --Grindhouse --Arctic Monkeys --studying --Bang Bros --Capcom vs. SNK --Main Street Book Store --Math
*sigh* I wanted to get thoroughly sloshed tonight, but no one else seems to want to. I guess it's just binge-eating and shooshtime as a way to cope with my misery. I might get a B in math...106...because I forgot to review for an exam I forgot was to occur. It would have taken five minutes, and I'd have been fine, but I may have bombed so spectacularly that all the A+'s in the world won't make up for it. God, I would hate to get a 3.8 because of a b.s. math class that I don't even need...
In other news, Mark and I got his URL banned from editing wikipedia entries by putting Deadpool references into a bunch of articles on Rod Stewart, The San Diego Chicken, Al Sharpton, the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, Muse, etc. Also, I'm really jonzin' for some El Canelo's right now. Oh, and Dr. Mizak made a reference to Jim Gaffigan on Wednesday before giving me the *other* exam I (less-spectacularly) bombed this week, which made me a-chuckle.
Well, I just did the scholarly equivalent of a Steve-O routine. I skipped the big Goo Goo Dolls concert last night (mostly because it was the Goo Goo Dolls, who apparently everyone else loves) and stayed in to study, which can henceforth be defined as "briefly reviewing my notes, then spending four hours watching MIT Open-Courseware lectures". Around 11 PM I called--you know what, the details are completely unimportant. Basically, I wound up helping Britney write these five 20-plus page literary analysis/criticism things on five novellas by 19th century female American authors. She got the assignment last week, and it's 40 percent of her grade, so I volunteered my inferior writing abilities. About nine hours later I had read two of the novellas using MS Word (thank God for Project Guttenberg) and written forty-five pages of analysis that, while desperate for polishing, might actually help her. So, basically, I'm exhausted right now, but it's kind of worth it since I'm also feeling like the greatest person on earth. I think I finally understand why people do charity.
In other news, the new Tori Amos and Nine Inch Nails albums are top-notch, sir, top-notch. Also, I'm still trying to figure out a living arrangement for the summer. Stay at home and deal with the awkwardness while simultaneously being able to, you know, work, or live in an uber-swanky three-bedroom apartment in Georgetown with no distractions from my massive quantity of online summer classes. Well, no distractions other than Britney 24/7 and the five-trillion bars and clubs that are a ten minute walk from the apartment. I'm just not sure I'm ready to break that completely from my summer/winter routine, plus I kind of like working at Costco.
God, all I can do now is study and look at grad schools. I put in like 12 hours for my exam Thursday (which I'm pretty sure I aced), so immediately afterwards I went to Mark and Juan's room to drink a bottle of Jack Daniels. I don't really remember much else about Thursday night, just that it was pretty fun and I hurt my throat by singing Journey and Kiss songs as loud as my voice will go.
Oh, and I've spent waaay too much time looking at grad schools, which is probably responsible for 90% of the stress in my life. Not only do I need flawless grades now (which I've somehow managed to do; assuming I did as well on my Econ 450 exam as I think I did, my lowest grade by far is only a 91 or something), but I probably should have majored in math or physics if I wanted to be an ideal phd candidate in economics. God, I feel so stupid right now.
Things I've Learned About Grad School
1. Phd programs in economics are among the most competitive out there. Only about 10% of applicants are accepted, and more than half of them are foreign students
2. A B.s. in economics is pretty much useless if you're applying to any decent Phd program. They want math and physics majors, and the overwhelming majority of programs say to not even apply unless you've taken differential equations and three semesters of calculus at the time you're applying. This is actually why I'm probably not going to go to College Park; I'll have finished Calculus III by the time I graduate, not by the time I have to apply (January, 2008). Fortunately, most schools are fine with you having finished three semesters by the time you graduate, but it's still pretty damned hard for anyone to pass Calculus III.
3. GPA's are actually pretty flexible. Most schools want over a 3.0, but they look more at your math and econ grades, and usually just at your last 60 hours of school (I have about a 3.3 in economics, which will go up by the time I graduate, and my GPA for my last 60 hours will be around a 3.6 or 3.7, assuming I maintain a 3.5 next year, which I think is doable)
4. If you want to teach at a state school, you have to go to one of the top ten schools in the country. Of the maybe a half dozen schools I'm likely to get into and apply to, only UVA and UPenn are ranked in the top ten for economics.
5. The best schools don't offer just a masters. It comes with a phd at most schools, and the few that do offer master's degrees don't offer student aid for it. So basically, I'm applying to phd programs, not masters, which means they want even better students.
6. My choices of schools are, in order, University of Virginia, American, Georgetown, George Mason, UPenn, George Washington, Penn State, and UMBC as a safety school
7. It's making my life a living hell. I'm waaay too stressed out now, to the point where it's even affecting my health. This break is really needed, even if at least part will be spent doing hardcore studying.
Off to study for a math exam that's thirteen days away, then maybe watch a movie as my body slowly overcomes this sickness...
A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.
“Why?” asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
“Well, I'm a panda,” he says at the door. “Look it up.”
The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”
hehe Panda jokes and punctuation jokes? Count me the fuck in!
blah blah blah grad schools game theory henry miller for fun my life is getting too quiet. Like, all I did today outside of class was read Pharsalia by Lucan, read the game theory notes from the College Park graduate school course, and practice math. I'm seriously thinking about teaching myself Calculus I (you never need a teacher for math; just do the problems in the book and check your answers, then practice three times each, and you've learned the shit out of it), then CLEP testing out of it. I need more math. I'll be taking Matrix Algebra, Econometrics, and Calc I or II next semester, plus Math 481 and 370 in the Spring (along with Econ seminar and Art Criticism), but that's just barely going to be enough for me to go to grad school and not feel completely overwhelmed. I hate school. So much that I want to spend the rest of my life in it.
Hm, what else can I write while I wait for 30 Rock to come on...Ah ha! My favorite authors!( Read more... )
...whether to go to Puerto Rico this weekend, wasting hundreds of dollars and spending a total of maybe fifteen minutes with relatives he hasn't seen since he was 18, all in a (more likely than not successful) attempt to get some ass and relieve a month of blue-balls...
...or whether to stay in Frostburg with the people...I don't know the adjective I'm looking for. Well, I do, but it's Greek (one of the maybe .5 words I know in that language), and I don't know how to alter text. Pretentious much? Bah. I worked out today and now I feel good. And the two exams went pretty well. I'm looking at 3 A's and 2 B's this semester, at worst, and all A's at best. Other than the sexual/romantic frustration, my life couldn't be better.
Also, I'm looking at graduate schools, which is both thrilling and terrifying (apparently it's in my best interest to go all the way up to Calculus III, which it seems can only be passed by Indian kids, those guys who carry their laptops around campus with them, and people who look like Krang from the Hero Turtles). I had originally intended to get my master's at College Park, but UVA and Stanford are looking better and better. Also, I found out that the GREs are basically just SATs on steroids, and there's no econ-focused one, so that's a load off my shoulders.
Side-note: While researching grad school requirements, I found out that my SAT score was in the 99.5th percentile and would have been better than average at Harvard. I barely have a 3.0 in my major and forgot -b+-square-root(b^2 + 4ac)/2b today.
Gene Pitney : Every Little Breath You Take (Phil Spector)
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Wow, what a weekend. Sort of. Pan's Labyrinth was fantastic, and I'm really glad that people other than just me and Mark got to see Mulholland Drive and, more importantly, form opinions about it. Thinking = good, and we don't talk about the movies we see enough.
I realized that I might be boring. I sat with Gail, Amber, and Shari at Penny's yesterday night and we played a game called MASH or something, which is what I assume most people do when killing time, whereas discussions with Earl, Juan, Mark, and Mischa usually turn towards obscure bits of knowledge, current events, unpopular music, or outdated hairstyles favored predominately (or would it be predominately favored? I've forgotten how to organize a sentence) by African Americans. Is this good or bad? I don't know, sir, I don't know.
ohwell I have to study a lot today. I still haven't finished my International Finance quizzes (due Wednesday, when we have the exam), plus I still need to study some more for Tuesday's Quantitative Economics exam and the Math one that I've been avoiding thinking about. I only studied maybe two hours Friday and three or four yesterday, so I'm going to dedicate today to learning how to do math gooder and forgot the Anglais.
Oh, and I took a survey that Shari and Liz posted.( Read more... )
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pantslessyoda1's journal
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